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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/stephanie_1/stephanie.randomink.org/wp-includes/kses.php on line 932

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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/stephanie_1/stephanie.randomink.org/wp-includes/kses.php on line 933

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Stephanie’s Blog

November 13, 2008

venting

Filed under: Uncategorized — steph @ 10:46 pm

God, why does it have to be him and her? why can’t it be me? this is so not fair. I wanted it to be me today, me flying to Kolkata, not that b**** flying in from Australia, to take *MY* place in my kids life. I want it being me enjoying the moment of finally being together. Yeah, I admit, I’m jealous, hell who in my place wouldn’t be? But life isn’t always fair, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I guess my only consolation right now is she sounds like a guy. Why does it hurt to see him so happy? I want to be with Indra so bad right now, but I can’t be, and so therefore I’m sitting here throwing myself a pity party, oh well not much else to do. So yeah, its a sucky day, I’m depressed. I fucking want ice cream, but I’m really too lazy to go get any. I’m mad at myself, stupid me slacked off this semester, so instead of coming to India for good in August I won’t be coming until December! God damn, why was I so stupid? I guess the good thing is I am getting a visit (not sure when but soon) but…if I was smart I woulda stopped my fucking moping and done what I needed to to get to Indra…but as I said i’m stupid, and the depression sorta sucked me in. Oh well…working on getting back on my feet and will start school again in January. Well…the way I’m looking at it is its only 4 extra months, so not that much longer. Damn it! Stupidity wins again

November 11, 2008

the next 2 days…

Filed under: Uncategorized — steph @ 12:50 am

the next 2 days…can they just go by? first the 11th is veterans day (and my holiday since i’m a veteran) and the 12th is my birthday :(     i don’t want it to come…i want them to go away

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